CUAO things to do in front of your guy (besides strip down to your hot Cosabellas, and then going to sit in another room)
That's why it's best to just drift away from a man when he's done something you are unhappy with. Don't say anything, just drift away gracefully, like a swan floating ever so gracefully far far out of sight on the glassy surface of a quiet lake, disappearing into the mist without leaving so much as a ripple behind. Never hand them amunition by scolding them. Just drift awaaaaay...
rollergurlie,
...and Yes he does have my phone # programmed into his phone, but calling every half hour????
maybe he sweated about you and obsessed on you and dialed your number every half hour and watched the clock for hourz an hourz, maybe he didn't.
most phone companies have services that will repeat dial a particular # at regular intervals until the party picks up, so he doesn't have to pay attention or work for you at all. most guys have these computerized auto repat dialer computer things at their jobs, that do the same task.
they don't focus on you. they go do other things. they don't think about you.
we don't know which he did.
also he went three weeks without calling you! he can live 3 weeks without you. without worrying another guy will swoop down on you and steal you away and push him out of the picture.
a guy who's got *real* fears of this would never wait 3 weeks to call an call you. when a guy thinks you're smokin hot, he is totally, absolutlely convinced that if he ignores you for even 3 days, other guys are beating down your door and ringing your phone off the hook, and surrounding you and asking you out. the competition is fierce and constant, because you are All That.
he would never risk not calling you for a date for 3 weeks. never. ever. the very idea would fill him with terror. he knows he'd be pushed out of the picture by a better prospect (a more worthy prospect). a guy who thinks you're smokin will always feel he just can't even believe he's with you, that you'd go out with him (when you could get better, he thinks).
I knew the "phone works both ways" was probably the wrong thing to say, i'll try to do better next time.
don't pay this much attention to him. ;)
i made up the windshield wipers thing cause i was hinting around for him to get them for me a while ago.
cool. ;)
i'm still shocked that he even called.
i'm not. you became more attractive when you seemed unconcerned with a guy who isn't super into you.
...don't think i'll hear from him again though, i think his ego is hurt.
you don't get men! lol! because his "ego is hurt" you will hear from him again. and you must turn him sweetly down for the date he asks you on. nooooo explanation. (!!!). you sweetly "aren't free". and "gosh! i'd love to! oh, gee! I'm just not free that nite!" ;)
Anyway I'm still taking your advice, I'm booking a trip to club med for January :)
oh YeY!!! YEY!!!! hahahah! YEYYY! ") whipeee!!! lol! yes! yes! hee! (be sure to slip this juicy thing in, breezily , when he calls next!)
Never say anything more than, "WHAT!?".
Never go, "I'm feeling hurt. Why did you say that? what does that mean? I'm angry that you said that and I'm disappointed that you blah blah blah". don't say, "I thought you blah blah... if that's the way you blahblah blah... why are you dating me then? blahblah... go find somene else to date... do you like her ? blah blah blah... I don't want to pay half for the movie! what's this about you used to pay blah blah..."
don't go, "what do you mean I look bad in this dress? what do you mean blah blah... why aren't you going to help me move? look, I don't get this blah blah... I was waiting for your call blah blah for hours blah blah...blah blah".
because the second you do, they wil start treating you even more terrible from then on.
the biggest turn off to men is resentful women.
when a woman (or girl) says the kind of things on top, he thinks, "she is a drag".
that is ALL he thinks. he thinks, "what's wrong with her? I wonder what Cindi is doing right now...".
then he daydreams about Cindi. she is the girl who goes, "WHAT?!" (and nothing else). she is then elusive and rejecting.
one word response: "WHAT!?"
nothing else.
nothing else.
the reason it works is because he'll think instantly, that no one has ever said anything to you like that ever. (or no one has done anything to you like that ever).
the sec he thinks this, he gets that big uh-oh feeling
practice on your plants, cats, in your mirror, when you put cream your face.
you are missing certain right reflexes.
you can imbed them in your wiring by repetition. ;)
use the "WHAT!?", followed quickly by Blotting The Thing from your mind and grabbing your gym bag and go do something positive for Yourself and become more elusive and hard to reach, with nooo explanation.
THIS is the language men understand.
On a date with someone from work who brings up business:
yes, just say, "mmm...i'm not in work mode right now... what a great restaurant! mmmm!"
don't go blah blah about not wanting to talk about work. only say one breezy sentence about not being in that mode.
not two. ;)
men don't like women how go on and on about anything.
What do you say to a guy who hasn't called in a while and says "I haven't heard from you, are you mad at me?"
say, sweetly, distractedly and breathless and happy, "mmm... oh! I haven't been home at all! mmm...oh! can you hold on a sec?".
Put the phone down for 3 minutes (hee!). go put some laundry in the machine or make some hot cocoa. ;-)
come back, breathless , and happy, and introduce a new topic. first, say, "mmmmmmm... I have hot cocoa ! I love hot cocoa in winter. mmmmm. oh! the snow looks so pretty out my window!" (followed by, "do you have ice cycles on your window? aren't they pretty !?".
say feminine things like these.
feminine girls never answer these questions from men. why? because they'd lose their mystery if they did.
they know their feminine power lies in their mystery, and their sensual nature (hot cocoa and pretty snow are sensual topics), their Happy & Shiny essence (or faked essence) (hee!).
never answer these questions factually (boring to men!).
when you feel stuck, in a convo, beezily, breathleesly, go, "mmm...can you hold just a sec!?".
just put the phone down and go do something. go get a Sprite, spritz on some perfume and put on some lipstick.
it will make him *wonder* about you. (I wonder what she's doing? when is she coming back?). it creates *instant* mystery. (how long is she going to leave me here? is she ever coming back?).
come back. breathless and distracted.
men like breathless girls. they think the're sexy.
I do all kinds of things when my i'm on the phone with my boyfriend (get a cordless!), so I always sound subtly distracted and breathless (sexy)(ooh ahhh). ;)
I dust, (makes you sound breathless and inattentive, like a french girl), thumb through Victoria's Secret catalogues, fold laundry, cook thai food. doing these stuff makes you sound subtly inattentive in a happy way (never say what you're doing unless you're thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue) ;)
men love it when they see you're not giving them your undivided atttention. ;)
men like to wonder what you're doing and why you aren't paying more attention to them. ;)
if he asks again , "are you mad at me or something?", do it again: "mmm...oh! can you hold on just a sec? i'm sorry ...". go off and do something. anything. pace around your apartment put on lipstick and more perfume. make your bed quickly, and come back breathless. ;)
say, " ohh , (really nice), gosh, I was just rushing out...gosh, it's so nice to hear from you! can you hold on a sec? I have to get my boots ...".
it's a question ("Are you mad at me?") he should be working out for himself , and solving, not asking you!
don't help men so much. be a challenge.
"mmm... ahh, I was just about to hop in the bath, can you hold on a sec ?" (disappear again) (men love girls who disappear).
"mmm...i'm going out tonite...and I've got to get ready... mm... can you hold on a sec, hon? i'm sorry " (really sweetly!)
or, " mmm... I had to get my dance clothes/ dance bag/ dance shoes (distractedly) (hee!)...i've got to run in a sec ! wow! it's nice to hear from you!"
followed by...(you guessed it!)- "oh, i'm sorry - can you hold on a sec?" <>br
heehee.
you have An Exciting Life (even if you don't). You are Happy (even if you're not).
the Happy & Shiny girl wins. ;)
HELP Lilli!!!! My boyfriend is slacking...we hung out all weekend...
this is a non-no before marriage.
he gets one weekend date. either friday night, saturday or sunday.
if you dooon't want to get married, keep hanging out all weekend. if you aren't rare and scarce, he won't see you as rare and valuable.
you have to take salsa dance lessons. even if you don't think you have any rythm and you "don't really like to dance". or you'll lose a lot of great chances to get asked out by salsa lovin men.
to a guy's mind, you threw cold water on him. he heard only the rejection. guys do not hear and think like we do. they are wired different.
what you said is in a category of, "oh, I hurt my foot, I can't dance with you" or, "my lower back hurts too much, no thank you", or "I can't dance with you; I just washed my hair", or "dance with you? are you crazy? in your dreams".
it's all the same to guys. he was a shiny aeroplane flying into your territory, and you shot him down. out of the sky.
and noooo, you don't ask him to join you. it's too masculine and agressive.
you do the femmy thing. you take Begining Slasa for Klutzes and the Shy (classes like this actually exist). it's femmy to dance, even if you aren't that good and if you say to men you're "just learning", thier face will light up like a christmas tree. it makes them feel proud and chivalrous and protective and big and strong and sexy and competent, to dance with you and show you some moves. it makes them feel grrrrreat!!! which, in turn, makes them more attracted to you. ;)
very serious is not defined by him taking off his pants (as so many girls mistakenly think).
Unless a guy wants to marry you, there's no reason to see him more than 2 times a week. you should fill up your life with dance lessons, astronomy classes, rock climbing, learning a foreign language, trips with your family, travel, vlounteer work, or learning to grow tulips or sharpshoot.
dig deep into your long forgotten chilhood dreams of what you wanted to do and be when you daydreamed of being a grown up. do everything.
get a degree in organic chemistry, or get a swarthy personal trainer and a sleek, bitchin bod. buy a tiara or write a novel.
but don't give your time, heart, body, and entire soul to men who aren't very serious about you (serious is not defined by him taking off his pants and underpants), or you could be wasting a lot of your *time* for nothing. and you could get very hurt.
never assume a man is serious, or assume he feels the same as you.
if he isn't talking concretely about marriage, he isn't very serious about you (yet), so see him only two times a week, and fill up your life with other things.
in the tapes I have, they say, "you have to treat your time as very *precious*, so he will treat you as *precious*". ;)
she is everything he has ever dreamed of. she has what turns him on. big big time. guys want to marry girls whom they are waaaaaay attracted to. seriously, painfully attracted to. the thought of not having her makes him die.
many girls get married who don't do The Rules.
They just, by chance or fate, get into the orbit of the guy who can't live without her.
men know right away if they want to marry you. this is why you should never date a guy more than 18 months.
most ecstatically happy married men (who are gaga about thier wives) love to tell the story (ovah and ovah) of how they *first* saw her. what they very *first* felt, the second they saw her. how they *knew* they were going to marry her. how they set out to, before even approaching her and talking to her.
how their only intention was to *win* her.
They know right away. it's visceral for men. they see her and they don't see a woman. they see a goddess. she has no equal. it is *her* and *her* alone they want.
other women are not so lucky to accidently wander into the *orbit* of the man/men who feel this about her. the men exist, but she never is in their orbit. maybe they are sitting at home posting while the other woman is taking dance for klutzes class. some women are *lucky* and get into the orbit of a guy who is so charmed by her that she can do no wrong in the universe. I think it is luck.
because men know right away, a woman should brake it off very gracefully and femmily, if he hasn't proposed to her by the one year mark.
a man either wants to *win* her over or he doesn't.
He wants to take her out of circulation, because he has a terror that another man will *win* her if he doesn't.
men think like this. when they meet a woman or girl who is a *her* (a heart stopping, heart pounding *her*) (and she can look like a cindy crawford or she can look like a goofball), they think in terms of *winning* her.
When they do, they feel like they won the lottery. they think they are not good enough for her, that she could do better, and they cannot believe that they *won* her.
she is ever the fairy princess to them.
because she is, she could *poof* at any time, so that's why they want to marry her. before that happens. or before she gets smart and realizes she could get someone better (this is thier secret fear) (fear is very tied up to atrraction for men).
some guys *settle* and marry the girl who isn't a *her* because they are scared they could never get a *her*. they think they don't have a good enough job (to impress her), enough money, or a good enough car, a good enough education, enough power or a nice enough house, or the abilty to buy a nice enough house to *win* her.
so they don't try to date her. they dream about her only.
the whole thing with men is *very* different than us.
they see women as prizes. and as godesses.
you don't have to look like cindi crawford to be a *her* to some guy. I can't count how many times a man has told me about a *her* who is the woman of his dreams, more beootiful than any woman on earth, and when I finally met her or saw a pichur of her, she looked very un noticable. or she was plain or had a giant nose, thick legs, or a mole on the end of bambi nose. her ears were different sizes or stuck out or she was a skinny nervous wreck.
beeoty is in the eye of the beholder. everyone is someone's fairy princess they would die to have.
stop being an overly nice overly caring and overly considerate girl. they get walked on.
I have a very cool job too, and I'm also amongst the crowd that says "don't talk about work outside of work." Of course eventually you'd like a guy that you can talk about substantive stuff with, but the key is to make him find you *attractive* first of all.
That said, its important to adjust your behavior as appropriate. Sort of like your work is just one facet of your oh-so-intriguing life. For instance, when this says "there must be more", this would be an ideal time to smile and say "Oh, I'm also a heart surgeon" Smile, pause while he's blown over momentarily by your utter complexity... Then "hm, did you try these mini-quiches? They are delicious!"
In the future however (when not confronted with a guy who makes somewhat rude implications) you can avert the issue by saying (if you are a heart surgeon, for example) "Let's see, yoga, socializing, and my job in medicine keeps me quite busy!" (him: "medicine?") "Oh, yes, I work over at the county hospital. In fact, I've just discovered the most delicious little italian place near work on Main St.- have you tried Luciano's? mmmm..."
The three big reasons to avoid work are because:
a) serious is not sexy. fun is sexy. work is serious.
b) if you have a high-power/big-$$/cool job, you don't want to intimidate a man at first. Or, you don't want him to see you as competition. You want him to see you as a woman who he has a chance of impressing. Of course, once he's established that you are an object to be pursued, then you can divulge more.
c) If he knows where you are and exactly what you do all day, all week, one's mysteriousness is quickly eroded.
Feel free to allude to or mention your work, just make sure to be playful, unintimidating, and myserious. This is very important, IMHO.
Every man secretly wants the smart business woman during the day - hot sexy babe at night girl. Once I learned this - I was a super femmy, alter ego woman - changing in the phone booth - giggle. If they are curious as to what there is MORE to you - they might ask you out to find out. Nevah tell tho.
if he shares how his dad died of cancer and it took a long time of agony (or whatever the problem is) lightly, say *the femmy phrase*. and don't say anything else. (except maybe- if you find it too hard to be quiet ), you could (sweeeetly) say, "i'll pray for your family" (even if you think it sounds silly) (say it even if you aren't religious at all) (guys loove things like this from girls. it sounds ultra femmy). it also sends the message to him (which he will like!) that you aren't going launch into a big, long discussion of all the gorey, tragic details (and this makes men happy too!). it's all very gracious and fem. very classy and charming.
say these one or two femmy things and nothing else! don't respond to the topic by asking lotso, lotso questions (like most girls do) (which guys hate) (a guy will then ansa aaalll the questions in great detail, and then not ask you for another date, and you'll never hear from him again, or you will hear from him again but it will be very blah, and he'll tell you even more problems, like his bad back, his trip to the dentist, in all it's details, his skin rashes, his problems at work, his truck problems, his love life problems) (on and on it goes!).
so don't ask (afta he tells you the tragedies), "so, how long was she in the hospital?/ what type of cancer was it? how did he find out he had liver disease?/ what hospital was he in?/ where did the boat sink, exactly?/ etc.). and don't be a sympathetic girl, and go, "my brother's sister died of that too/ my uncle had lung cancer too/ my grandmother-in-law died in a plane crash too, and before that, her second cousin, once removed, had the exact kind of cancer your sister had". don't appear to know anyting about the subject (cancer/heart attack/strokes/car crashes) (you've never heard of these things).
don't comiserate.
look REAL pretty, and go, "aaw, my heart goes out to you". you can lightly touch his hand for an second when you say it (like a gentle butterfly landing on his hand for and then flying away), with your femmy, purdy, smoooth hands).
be extra nice by wearing *perfume*, sparkling earrings, and other things that men think are nice.
should I scream on his answering machine, or should I stay up all nite writing a list of all his faults? should we go to therapee, and turn the mysterious to un-mysterious? will that help us? maybe I should tell him i deserve better and i kno it, and he iz luckee to have me. yes, i will do that tomorrow.
I rilly think you should go watch a swan before you go yell at him. go take a sandwhich. a popcorn sandwhich, and a nice drink, like a pink lemonaide, and watch the swan.
notice the simple elegance of a swan. her quiet mystery. she glides along the lake, drawn to whatever pleases her, stopping in the tranquil places that make her feel good, gliding off, on water like shiny glass, to go here and there. she has a dignity kind of grace, as she floats off into the distance, slowly, smoothly, quietly drawn like a magnet to the next place she might like.
I think this is the way to exit. a love affair gone sour. like a swan, glide out onto the glassy lake, smoothly, with swanlike mystery.
and float.
off to places unkown, where better things will be happening.
leave everyone wondering where you went.
you can make a t-shirt with the swan picture on it, put her on your computer desktop, or transfer her elegant like image into a book of swans you create, buy printing out your swans of the day, and slipping them into clear, plastic pages. you put them in a 3 ring binder. you will need a 3 ring whole punch for this.
you could have a swan book you look at for inspiration on what to do, and how to act, when you need to exit a love affair.
reappearing in another nice place
try to get away from the whole "girl bud" niche. practise cutting back on it, little by little, by little, until you get out of the "friendsy" niche. guys need to see girls as the "date girl", in the cashmere sweater...the one tossing her glossy hair, and always smiling mysteriously, instead of telling all.
she should be just a little out of reach all the time- attainable, but with a good deal of work, and great effort. when he does get time with her, it's so delicious, because he worked so hard for it, she's so special, and she smells soh nice!
practise not letting guys treat you like real good casual friends. practise on any guys. guys you've always known, and always been an open book with, guys at the gas station, your brother's freinds, all types of men. practise it on men you're not attracted to and new men you meet...practise not answering questions, but being serene, flirty, and very private, smiling...(but never a big goofy smile).
I know it feels terrible, terrible now...I think you will meet someone much more right for you.
your ex likes a challenge. a married woman is a big challenge. and a thrill. she's very hard to get, she's there but just out of reach.
he's wired for challenge. men like it to be hard to get the woman. they are funny.
the whole point of being really busy iz for YOU, not him. but, the second reason is for him.
not to manipulate him , but to give him what he most needs to be fullfilled as a man. to meet his masculine needs. we do this because we love men. we understand that when we meet thier true needs, then they are happy with being with us. as opposoded to us meeting the needs we used to think they had, such as
Men Like Women Who Are a Challenge. They Like Women Who are Cool. And who have lots of Cool things going on in thier life, women who dress Cool, and have lots of other Cool men chasing them.
it's an itelligence test and a coolness test. if you go you flunk both tests, and he sees you flunk, then he knows you're a girl he can just bonk and toss (he might need some of those).
so, smooth your hair, put on some perfume, in front of him, get distracted, and float away, with complete and utter femininty. ;)
lima,
let him lead the conversation and choose the topics. mention sensual things, like how prettee the sky is or how sweet the honeysuckle smells on the porch, how, mmm...deelicious the pie smells (pretend you just took one out of the oven) (or rilly bake one), talk about anything sensual, how dreamy the brazilian music sounds (your'e playing it now, or you just bought, go buy some for when he calls).
talk about how you just washed your hair, and you're putting lemon in it, jasmine oil on it, or you're putting tangeringe/jasmine lotion on your legs. say you had fun when you went out dancing , or to the beach.
don't talk about how you haven't filed your taxes yet, you got a parking ticket, and had a fight with your assistant.
talk about a vacation you're planning to a favorite, beautiful place, or to a (scarey to him) place like italy or france, greece. somplace populated with lots of swarthy guys. talk about how you want to go to tenesee, to vist a girlfriend, and when you get there, you're going to go skinny dipping in your favorite place, or pick, fresh, lusty fruit right from the vine. it will attract him and cause him anxiety at the same time. men are attrracted to women who're talking about going away somewhere beautiful...seemingly unconcerned about taking him too (hee!)...to a place where there coconuts, and half clad men, offering fruit right off the vine...and those things. they picture you walking down the beach, in your pink daisy thongs, walking into the horizon away from them, not thinking about them, and they are drawn like a magnet.
yu haftah, leave. with femmy cuteness, distracted, pretend yu are jennifer lopez. you might even make a bunny nose (she does this all the time), flash a sparkle smile, do something wordlessly femme, before you leave, like slick on some lipstick (in front of him, like he's not there into a little fem fem mirror from your purse), brush or shake your glossy hair , adjust your stockings (not pantyhooose), fiddle with your earrings, put on some perfoom (right in front of him), dab it on your earlobes , or your wrists, smell a fresh lemon, or a flowah, or put on some Very fragrant lotion.
this is how you tawk to men and tell them you aren't into that kind of conversation. I love this one from cornflower. She writes:
I had a very similar situation recently with Mr Sweet.
He was contacted by an ex-girlfriend who wanted to catch up and have dinner with him. He called me and asked me if it was OK, that he didn't want to hurt my feelings.
So, I felt I had one of 2 choices - to say "yes, that would hurt my feelings" and look like and insecure jealous woman, or say "no, that wouldn't hurt my feelings" and sit at home and stress about it, because I was pretty sure that she wanted him back, and he had been madly in love with her. (She broke it off...)
I asked him if I could think about it, and then got straight on the boards!!!
I decided that I didn't like *either* of those options and that I actually had a third option... *not to choose*. He is a man not a child, and we don't tell men what to do, sometimes even if they ask us what to do. We don't mommy them by making choices and setting boundaries for them that they should have the good sense to set for themselves.
So, I didn't call him back with an answer. I went shopping and I got my nails done.
He much later in the day and asked me what I thought. I said "You know honey, I started thinking about it, and it made my head hurt. She's your ex and yours to deal with, and I trust you to make the best choice for happiness of our relationship. Anyway, I went and got my nails done and bought some new shoes...."
Him: But what should I do about ex...?
A few weeks later he was contacted by a different ex who was in town and wanted to catch up. He turned her down without even "checking in" with me.
When you let them set their own boundaries and make their own choices, you will end up with a much better relationship, I think.
just smile flirtily. dooon't say anything. or smile, a slowly, rising, mysterious, cat girl like smile, and *wink*.
men aren't drawn to language . they're drawn to mystery & feminity. to the languageless world. ;) smile a slowly rising smile . a mysterious, flirty smile. lower your head, stroke your hair. look at him, then look away. let your hair swoop over you...and smell some nearby flowahs...close your eyes, femininely, as you drink in the scent of the flowahs...go "mmmm...these smell heavenly...".
adjust your stockings. put on some lipstick. go make a lemonaide and fan yourself with a pink, chinese fan.
this is the languageless world that men are attracted to. don't agoznize ovah what to say in words to men. forget words.
flowahs [Lili...] - 10:03pm Jun 28, 2001 EST (#8 of 20)
heather3,
it's important to not ever let an ex girl bud you, if you're still interested in getting back together. don't ever let him relate to you real casually, like close buddy poos. don't exchange buddy e-mail, and go out for buddy beers, and talk like buddies, about his dating life or yours. It ruins things. try as hard as you can not to let him girl bud you. if he tries it, you say "noh", in one way or another (there are lots of ways).
a good thing is to practise with most men not letting them girl bud you, so you don't emanate "i'm a girl bud". you want to always emanate to men "i'm a date girl". or "i'm a dream girl", or "i'm mysterious and feminine".
she never answers questions about her dating life or listens when he talks about another girl, she is soo mysterious, and elusive, and private ...
talk to them less. 50% of the time when you're about to say something, don't .
when they ask you questions say 50% less when you answer...
men really take to this for some reason. they LIKE a challenge.
if you're e-mailing an ex and going out for beers as friends, you're not a challenge.
flowahs [Lili...] - 07:16am Jul 2, 2001 EST (#2327 of 2332)
If I make myself busy so it is easier to not accept his last minute dates (as I have non-rulesily trained him to do) won't he interperate this as me losing interest (which I am not). How can I retrain without explaining it to him? Will the man still "know" that I like him? Thanks...
LLL! (it means laffing laffing laffing) you have it all backwards. LLL. the whole point is that he's not supposed to know how much you like him. when they know (especially early on), it makes them lose interest. it also makes them treat you badly. guys aren't into girls who keep showing how much they like them and how interested they are.
Note that these are *not* men's needs and never will be. if the seas run out of water, if the stars fall out of the sky, and the fishes fly, till the end of all time, these will never be men's needs.
They like women who are so Cool, you never know what they're thinking or where they are. Watch more movies to learn how to be cool.
because that's what men want. they want it as bad as we want cute clothes and enagement rings.
if you want to succeed with men you have to start being really cool .
Have you ever noticed how many men cool girls have chasing after them? They get more proposals than non-cool girls too.
limabean,
doooon't say "does that include dinner?" !!!!!
it's too agressive it sez to a man "too eager" and "too easy", and not a challenge .
it's also like leading in dating, being an overly eager puppy dog girl, and and helping him ask you out (which he doesn't want you to do!!!). a guy who wanted to ask you out, would have asked you out , on a one on one date , alone.
and he knows that cool girls get this.
if you say "does that include dinner?", you're no better off than if you rented a big billboard and wrote across it in giant letters "I'm not a cool girl". ;)
a cool girl would never say that. she'd smooth her hair, and float off. because she'd know he's not interested in a date. if he was, he'd have asked her. he wouldn't have asked her to take herself, by herself, to sit in the crowd.
a cool girl knows that that sort of invitation is not foreplay to being asked on a date.
it's what a guy does to indicate to her that he doesn't want to take her out on a date
flowahs [Lili...] - 10:57pm Jun 28, 2001 EST (#2275 of 2341)
foxxyloxxy,
that's why we don't talk on the phone much. ;)
because men are visual creatures. don't answer the phone that much if you want him to see you more.
on the phone, you have to...mmm...just be breezy & sweet, don't think about this much. on the phone, when you talk, never complain (about gas prices, your landlord, your mother, your job, your boss, your sister, your knees, what someone said to you or did to you, other drivers on the road, your headache, backache, your messy house, your cat's lesion, you get it don't you).
the content should be on the senses, not on how you car alarm is broken again . ;)
you get the pichur. ;)
be more sensual to talk to, and don't talk to him like he's a girlfriend, sharing and telling all with him (he's not a girl) (he wants to hear other things).
(He's also sent letters & pictures, but I'm mostly concerned w/ expressing the magical wordlessness of a Dream Girl over the phone) Thanx.
send him cute pictures of you, with very short notes in them.
answer the phone less. and take some super cute pictures and send them breezily off. ;)
flowahs [Lili...] - 11:14pm Jun 28, 2001 EST (#2279 of 2341)
foxylox,
go to the libraree before he calls, and check out lots of books about dreemy places, you'd someday like to vacation in. get dreamy picture books of those fabulous places. take a dreemy bath with jasmine or passionfruit oils, and listen to sensuos, dreemy music, and lie around reading your library books before he calls you, so you'll be in the mood, and can you can also talk about what you're doing.
it's something about the girl from ipaneema.
Lili... - 10:09am Jun 28, 2001 EST (#2247 of 2341)
rollergirl,
if you ignore it when it happens, but you don't breezily, sweetly, sweetly, prettily leave , in a sweet , distracted way, within 2-10 minutes after *the thing* he said, it won't work.
like, if he sez *the thing*, and you breezily ignore it but stay on the date (or whatever it is), it won't work. ;)
at first itz confusing and sounds crazy, but go do it 100 times and record the results in yo pink daisy dating journal. and yu will see, that to men thaz how you say those things.
because men are atuned to a different language , and when you speak it, they listen. it iz the only time and the only way they listen.
and it worx in every country (you don't have to learn a different language for every country). ;)
Lili* - Oct 10, 2003 8:34 pm (#333 of 1008)
Edited by Oct 10, 2003 9:36 pm
Me: I don't know.
Him: Well, how about I call her and tell her that I have somebody new in my life, so it's not appropriate for me to have dinner with her, and just chat on the phone for a little?
Me: If you like.