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The Best And Worst of 2008








It's almost time for us horror fans to enter a new year. A new year which is sure to be filled with hits and misses. Just like 2008 was, 2009 is sure to offer some of the best, as well as some of the worst when it comes to horror films. Which is why today, we're releasing our annual best and worst of 2008 list. A list we hope can keep studios from making the same mistakes next year. Now keep in mind, this list only covers theatrical releases, and not straight-to-dvd releases. Any horror film that atleast graced one screen in 2008, will make some end of this list. Whether it'll be the "BEST" side or the "WORST" side...well, that remains to be seen. So lets get started. Lets start off first with the WORST of 2008, just to get the bad news out of the way first. Topping the worst of 2008 list when it comes to horror films is "One Missed Call" redux. Sure, remaking an asian horror film about an evil spirit -- that travels through peoples cellphone memories and kills people who are stored in them -- after delivering a voicemail message, which predicts their death 24 hours later -- seemed like a good idea at first.

But when you choose the wrong script, and fail to manufacture the same scares which made the foreign original so great, you're asking for trouble. This film makes the "Worst" list because it was the ultimate failure. No scares, no fun, no entertainment value. Other than a 3 minute scene near the end where a cgi demon girl commits a B&E at the home of Shannyn Sossamon's character...this movie had zero going for it. Even the actors seemed to be going through the motions, and commedianne Margaret Cho playing a serious police officer? Yeah...okay. Second up is another remake of an asian horror film, "The Eye"...which starred Jessica Alba. I'm sure considering how hot, and marketable J. Alba is, the studio immediately thought a movie where she plays a vulnerable blind girl who is scared to death at every turn could certainly rake in the cash and scare audiences.



Well they were half right. The film did make decent bank, but scare audiences? Uh...no. Unlike the original, which relied on psychological scares and sheer terror of the supernatural to freak out the audience, "The Eye 2008" relied on the same "jump, boo, oh look...a ghost in a raincoat" -- bull-plop which only scares 14 year old girls from Beverly Hills, and not the rest of us. That, and the fact that it decided to inject some "Final Destination"-esque mythology into the conclusion, elevate it right onto the worst list. "Worster" number three? If you guessed another remake well then...you're absolutely correct! "Prom Night" starring Brittany Snow makes the list this year. This is a remake of the 1980 film which for some reason, decided not have a thing to do with the original films storyline.



Instead...it chooses to play the "Fatal Attraction" game where a horndog teacher who is pining for a blonde female student who's obviously too young for him, decides to make a jail break and go on a killing spree in hopes that he can make her love him. Of course this plan fails miserably and he ends up getting a cap busted in his ass when it's all said and done, and now that Donna's prom night has been ruined she'll probably need therapy for the rest of her life but hey...I needed therapy too to get the memories of this crappy film out of my head so, cry me a river Donna. Next up is an indie film called "Zombie Strippers". The title alone suggests that you're in for a bad time, and I was pretty much right on that front. Using every racial, stripper-related, and military cliche in the book..."Zombie Strippers", a limited release...makes the Worst list.
Next up we take to the water with the killer croc pic "Rogue", from "Wolf Creek" helmer Greg McLean. Crocodiles in films like this are supposed to wreak utter havoc, eating people, biting them in half, etc. But somehow in "Rogue", this all got lost in translation. Instead, the film offers up vapid characters with only Radha Mitchell to root for to survive the ordeal. Then there's that crocodile, who for some reason just can't seem to get a decent amount of screentime. And in a killer croc film, that is never a good thing. "The Signal" is up next. A UK horror film which got limited play earlier this year in cinemas, and managed to wow me with the opening 15 minutes. But sadly crashed and burned like a cheap jet plane after that. I haven't seen a collapse this bad since the career of one Amy Winehouse...seriously. Which brings me to "Hellboy 2:The Golden Army" This film is the sequel to "Hellboy", which I wasn't very crazy about to begin with. It was better than "Hellboy" I'll say that, but when it came to really pushing the envelope and impressing the hell out of me? Well I simply just wasn't that impressed.

Honestly, this series is dying a slow death mostly because it's villains can never measure up. "Hellboy 2" had one of the most disappointing good guy vs bad guy final battles I've ever seen. Which is why it makes the list. Back from the tomb, no pun intended...is "Mummy:Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor". Alot has changed since "The Mummy Returns" apparently. Evelyn is now Maria Bello, Arnold Voosloo is out as Imhotep, and no Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bay. Which was exactly why it made the list, nough said. I really wanted to believe that "The Mummy 3" wouldn't suck, and speaking of believing, that's exactly what I tried to do with "The X-FILES:I Want To Believe". But believe it or not, the truth is out there, now if the producers behind "X-FILES 3" could just get me to stay awake long enough to actually care...which is something they failed to accomplish with part two.



With winter in full swing, many of you may be getting sick very often, and with that comes being quarantined to the guest house in some cases. Which is exactly what someone should've done with Sony Screen Gems "Quarantine", the remake of the spanish horror film "REC". Jennifer Carpenter can't make a bad film good simply because she's kinda hot, silly studio execs. You still need a relevant plot, some real scares, and some serious blood and gore. Tsk, tsk...try again. Speaking of winter, it snows alot in Sweden...which is where "Let The Right One In" originated from. This vampire film was all bark (internet hype), and no bite. While the story was something new and intriguing, boring ass characters will always "drain" interest from a viewer people.



Last up is "My Name Is Bruce". This film has Bruce Campbell playing himself, and is soon charged with the task of rescuing a small town from a pissed off Chinese god of war. Unfortunately, not even the god of war could save this movie. Well, maybe he could've if he rolled solo in it. Bruce Campbell's schtick kills this movie. He's just not as funny as he used to be, which back then he had better people writing films for him. Nowadays, I'm not so sure. But "My Name Is Bruce" makes the list because it had so much hype behind it, and didn't even come remotely close to delivering on any of it. And so, that's the "Worst of 2008" Horror Film list. Whether you agree or disagree is up to you, but this is my list so in reality, it's just my 2 cents. (Read Part II!)


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