[Buried Alive]
Plot:A college prank at an abandoned house accidentally awakens a frightening spirit.

Cast:Leah Rachel, Erin Lokitz, Tobin Bell, Germaine De Leon, Terence Jay, Steve Sandvoss, Lindsey Scott.

My Thoughts:Bury me alive...please!!!!!

Review:What a disaster "Buried Alive" from Writer Art Monterastelli and Director Robert Kurtzman is. The film follows a group of generic A-typical teens who head up to a house in the middle of nowhere for the weekend. Of course, being that it's a horror movie...something bad has to happen right? Well, not exactly. The film teases us for the longest with a disappearing ghoulish looking woman who pops in from time to time to attempt (key word here being attempt)...to scare the viewer. There's really no explanation as to why this person keeps appearing, nor why the lead male in the film keeps being the one to see her specifically.

Nor are we told anything about the connection between him and this spirit, but what I really wanted to know was...why is this guy kissing his cousin or sister? Now this film was so bad that I blocked it from my memory in the last 24 hours, but I do remember the lead girl being the lead guys sister or cousin, and either way you look at it...kissing between them is sick...period. I guess it was just one of those things Monterastelli decided to throw in there..you know, since this film had no plot, or entertainment value, or sense whatsoever. Tobin Bell makes a cameo in the film early on as Lester, the caretaker of the house that these teenagers pay a visit to.

It's a sad day for any film when a caretaker is the highlight of the movie, but damnit...it certainly is the case here. Tobin as Lester makes a few scenes watchable with his sometimes laid back yet sometimes confrontational attitude. But once Lester ain't around, we have to concentrate on these annoying teenagers and that's when the film dismantles itself again. Add to that, the fact that these kids are not people you'd root for. The nerd who's too much of a pussy to stand up to anyone, the asshole, the sorority girl who takes power over her pledges way too far, the pledges that actually put up with it, and the guy with the IQ of a rock who loves beer.

Yep...what a bunch of winners huh? I'm sure the "thing" chasing them will have an easy as pie time taking them down. The thing of it all is though, as gruesome looking as this demon woman, who later in the movie shows up with an axe is...she decides to play houdini on the kids for about 80 minutes before letting the slicing and dicing begin on their snobby poor little rich kid asses. I really was hoping someone would explain to the demon woman that these kids are such idiots that stalking them is simply being way too nice. Kids this dumb and annoying should just be done away with quickly.

As if things with the annoying characters, lazy supernatural slasher woman, and horrible dialogue weren't bad enough, we get the obligatory "the evil is connected to native american folklore" sub-storyline. It's like I said in my review of "The Curse Of Alcatraz"...Native American folklore is becoming overused in horror films these days. And it's not even being explained, or used in a smart or creative fashion. It's basically become a stand in for the "satanist/occult" motives that we got sick of seeing every character espouse in every B-slasher or horror movie 4 years ago!

But Monterastelli tries to be smart about it by lacing the Native American folklore sub-plot with the backstory of the houses former owner who's related to the lead guy and lead girl, burying his wife alive with some gold (which never makes an appearance in the film by the way). You'd think a movie with all of this going on would be alot more exciting but naw, "Buried Alive" just crams all of this shit in to make itself look good and fails miserably at attempting to do so. Which is sad considering this film had 97 minutes to spare, plenty of time to build a solid story and have it unfold around the killings.

I mean for crying out loud, I've seen more rational and tidy plots in "Friday the 13th sequels! The writer and director try to give the film that slasher feel with the axe wielding ghost woman but she doesn't measure up at all. As I said earleir, she's quite lazy, and on those rare occasions when she takes someone out, we never see her...just their face being mutilated. As if things couldn't get any worse for "Buried Alive"...when one girl finally sees the demon woman, she tells the group, and the guy who saw the demon woman earlier en route to the house...all of a sudden forgets he ever did and tries to tell the girl that she's insane and seeing things. Ah...illogical horror, gotta love it right? "Buried Alive" is a terrible film, and it's not something any horror fan should be subject to.

Positives:The ghost woman looked pretty twisted.

Negatives:Bad characters, bad script, bad acting, illogical writing, and a plot that goes nowhere.

Overall:Total shit!





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