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[Dark House]
Plot:When Walston Rey, "the self-proclaimed King of Horror Haunts,” turns a former foster home with a bloody past into a “haunted mansion for the ages" for Halloween...a young woman named Claire returns to the house in hopes of exorcising her past. But when she and some of her acting students are hired to perform in Rey's show, a new string of grisly murders begins and we discover the house may truly be haunted!
Cast:Jeffrey Combs,
Meghan Ory,
Diane Salinger,
Matt Cohen,
Bevin Prince,
Shelly Cole,
Ryan Melander,
Danso Gordon,
Scott Whyte,
Ian Reed Kesler,
Erin Cummings,
Meghan Maureen McDonough,
Mathew Melander.
My Thoughts:Put this house up for sale.
Review:I was truly expecting a lot from "Dark House", a new supernatural/haunted house horror film from director Darin Scott. What I got, was not even close to half of my expectations. The film follows a girl named Claire (Ory), who as a child, stumbled upon a horrific crime scene within a local children's orphanage. The event tramatized her for a long time, and Claire, who's now an aspiring actress, is trying to launch her career, all the while still dealing with her own personal demons. Soon...the opportunity to act, and make some quick cash, presents itself in a man named Walston Rey (Combs), who requests Claire, and her thespian friends, help him put on a scary show for Halloween.
The gig is basically to host a haunted house walkthrough, but the house that's being transformed into a haunted house especially for Halloween, is the same house where Claire, as a young girl...walked in on a horrific murder scene. Claire is apprehensive at first about doing it, but she soon agrees to do it, and eggs her friends on to do it as well. But with selfish intentions, as Claire sees it as an opportunity to exorcise her personal demons permanently. But is Claire going to end this night fully recovered and stable?
Or has she just signed her own, and her friends, death warrants? "Dark House" was set up to be a very entertaining, creepy, and thrilling ride. But instead, the ball was dropped from the very start. As you watch this movie open, you're kind of hopeful for a good end result. But once the kids get to the house, and begin being shown around by Walston for the Halloween walkthrough, your hope that this movie will actually deliver, begin to fade...fast! The films biggest problem is it's lack of putting together good, coherent, sequences. That's the bread and butter of every horror film.
Strung-together scenes, that can deliver a thrilling 10 to 15 minutes of film. A movie which works in chunks can be good, even with a few glaring weaknesses. But this film fails to even keep you entertained and happy for 3 whole minutes. The characters are all a cliche. Ory as Claire is the obligatory girl with "issues", she has the loyal best friend, another cliche. Meanwhile, she also has the obligatory "guy-she's-crushing-on. Then there's the token black guy, and the token bitchy/annoying/superficial blonde. Get the picture?
These characters aren't as intolerable as some horror films would make them out to be. But they're not that interesting or fun to watch either. And how about pulling for them to survive? Forget it! Beyond Claire, I wasn't rooting for any of these jokers to live. And in a movie like this, their chances of surviving are like 1 in 456 anyways so, I'm certainly not just being a prick here. It's horror movie reality, these characters are all destined to get dropped at some point in the movie. What bugs me about this film the most though, is how it squanders it's main saving grace.
For example, Rey informs the teens, that he has a holographic system set up in the house, which when activated by censors, can make any serial-killer character/ghoul...appear in front of an unsuspecting patron, and make them believe they're being attacked. So you have basically set up a scenario where you have an endless supply of crazy ghouls and killers at your disposal. And thus, the movie can go the slasher route whenever it's ready.
But instead, not only does the movie fail to capitalize upon this plot point, but the directing is so bad, and the scenes are bungled so terribly, that even when it tries to, it only makes matters worse. Like scratching when you have the chickenpox. While I didn't think this movie did very well living up to it's ambitious story, I also think the entire idea of this movie, was put into the wrong hands. Maybe with a different director, writer, and studio, it could've been a memorable genre trip. But instead, everything is just all wrong here.
The kills don't work, because of their poor filming and bad choreography. And in some cases, sheer stupidity. The chase sequences don't work because there's only like one, that lasts 5 minutes barely. The characters don't work, because they're all cliches, and even Jeffrey Combs doesn't work. Mostly because his character is not written very well at all. This, when mixed in with a final act, which reveals the houses evil and dark legend, to all be tied up in some "Silent Hill"-influenced BS, is a recipe for a BAD MOVIE. A TERRIBLE movie in fact. "Dark House" is a failed attempt at a good idea. Even with lowered expectations, most people still won't dig this film, especially horror movie fans.
Positives:It had a good start, and the idea of this movie was rich with potential.
Negatives:Unfortunately, without a good script and plan, a good idea went heavily sour. The characters were cliche, the final act where all is revealed was super-dumb, and the horror elements of importance such as thrills, blood, suspense, and gore...were all absent. And any and all attempts at either were futile and pathetic.
Overall:One star out of four.
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