[Dead Serious]
Plot:A religious zealot and his terrorist cult take over a gay bar in New York City. Their plan is to remove the scourge of homosexuality from the planet. But little do they realize that when the natural order is tampered with, the wrath of the undead is awakened. Now a group of unlikely heroes must fight to survive the night and save the city.

Cast:Charlie Accivatti, Tom Cahill, Marcus Cliff, Paul Coughlan, Camille Delgado, Brian Gianci, Carson Grant, Jack Halpin, James Huffman, Alan Rowe Kelly, Cliff Lee, Paul LeRoy, Kane Manera, Anthony Pepe, Marcus Perez, Felissa Rose, Xavier Santiago, Peter Stickles, Patrick Swearingen, Phil Vos, Michael Weingartner, Jason Wynn.

My Thoughts:This does not make me happy.

Review:"Dead Serious" is yet another indie horror film that tries to do something new with vampires. In this pic, there's a gay bar in the heart of New York City which is run by vampires. A religious neo-con conservative sect eventually shows up to take over the bar, as part of a tri-conspiracy with a suit-wearing-military industrial-complex-sporting white dude, and the bar owner who's in league with him and happens to be a vampire. While the idea of a vampire partnering up with a human isn't totally unheard of in the genre, the way this film lays out it's story is more exciting than what takes place afterwards.

The movie has Felissa Rose playing the wife of an accountant who's final job for the night is visiting the owner of the gay bar to talk business. So she decides to enjoy the scenery downstairs while she waits for him to finish because the two of them are slated to have dinner later on in the evening. She even chats it up with a few of the gays as sinister events unfold upstairs. See the religious sect mercenaries are planted all around the bar, setting up their seizure of the bar so they can test out their new anti-gay drug on the gay bar patrons in front of a live neo-con studio audience.

But a gay mercenary (not with the bad guys), named Troy is onto the plot and plans to stop both the neo-con sect and the vampires. You could say this film is very creative in it's storyline and indeed I would agree. But it's super low budget, and terrible performances are enough cinematic-chloroform to knock out any viewer. I know this film wanted to put forth a real, authentic Manhattan feel with the low budget and all, but my god it was just too low budget for my likings. This coming from someone who's seen the lowest of the low-budgeteers.

Felissa Rose is probably the only good actor in this film, and it's really quite tragic that they thrusted her into this movie with some people who I've never heard or or seen before. Leaving Felissa alone to carry the whole movie seemed pretty mean-spirited, even if she did perform to the best of her abilities. The vampires you'd think would be the star attraction, but even they can't hack it in this movie. The vamps aren't scary, but instead would remind one of the sicilian mafia from an episode of The "Sopranos".

I never got the fascination with making vampires out to be suits who like to walk around gracefully and try to "blend" with society. I mean they're freaking vampires, so why are they putting on the "legit businessman" front? The mob have the cops to avoid, who do vampires need to avoid beyond sunlight and Blade The Daywalker who isn't in this movie by the way? It's just super retarded how these vampires are potrayed. They're truly all fang and no bite. The religious crazies however are pretty true to form. Extremely ignorant, crazy, homicidal, suicidal, and more than a few fries short of a happy meal. Atleast the writer and director managed to get their persona's down right.

The eventual overthrowing of the bar is set up little by little at the beginning of the movie, as everyone...good guys and bad, slowly move into position in each scene, preparing to do what they gotta do...so to speak. But when the blood finally hits the fan, there isn't much to see. The film never scares, thrills, chills, or anything. It breaks down into a predictable mess and when it starts trying to rely on performances? Ugh! Watch out, bad, BAD idea. I hate movies that suck the viewer in with all of these mysterious scenes, and character behaviors...and then when the plot is sprung from it's box, and begins to unfold in large chunks, it just puts you further and further to sleep.

Which is exactly what "Dead Serious" does. Perhaps with some more veteran B-listers, more cash, and a more re-worked script....this movie could've been a cool, yet weird little indie gem. Instead however, it just winds up being another embarassment to the already suffering vampire subgenre.

Positives:Felissa Rose's performance.

Negatives:Boring script, terrible supporting cast, lack of action, lame vampires, predictable plot twists.

Overall:One out of four stars.





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