[Ghosts Of Goldfield]
Plot:A group of college students venture into a hotel to do a documentary on it's haunted past. Soon they begin to fall prey to the ghosts that roam the halls

Cast:Kellan Lutz, Mandy Amano, Richie Chance, Marnette Patterson, Roddy Piper, Ashly Rae, Scott Whyte, Chuck Zito.

My Thoughts:*DIES*.

Review:I have seen some awful supernatural straight-to-dvd films in my time, but "Ghosts Of Goldfield" takes the cake. Atleast for now. The film is the typical of what you'd expect from straight-ro-dvd horror films, steeped in the realm of the supernatural. It has a hot young cast, the guys are jock types, the girls are flaky, and there's a creepy old guy who knows alot more than he's letting on. When a film sets itself up like this, it's either a straight-to-dvd bomb, or a "Scooby Doo" episode.

But in the case of "Ghosts Of Goldfield", Scooby and Shaggy showing up and yelling "Zoinks!".....would've been a whole hell of a lot more entertaining than the 90 minutes of zzzzz's, zzzzz's, and more zzzzz's -- this film offered up. The movie has a group of teens researching the supposedly haunted Goldfield Hotel in Nevada. They are doing so for a school project, after all....those thesis papers aren't gonna write themselves. Teens, especially screwy ones like these, are usually not allowed near the property for fears of them doing something retarded. Like going inside and disturbing the spirits.

So this group gets clever, they lie about having Discovery Channel credentials. And, bam! They're in! But this has more to do with the caretaker of the property being a mean, old bartender who's played by Roddy Piper (yes the ex wrestler). He really doesn't care because it's not like he's being paid a ton of money to keep kids out, and plus, considering that when the group first meets him, they piss him off royally by requesting New York City/California drinks that they know any place not named Las Vegas, in Nevada would never have...he probably would like to see the kids get taken out by the ghosts in the hotel anyways. Based on the merit that they're so damn annoying.

The kids want to explore the hotel early, so he agrees. And mayhem, bloody carnage, and death ensue....right? Er um, no....not really. In fact, boredom ensues, and then....more boredom, followed by, an extra helping or.....boredom. With a side of boredom, for good measure. Seriously, as far as ghost movies go, "The Haunting" remake from back in 99' was more exciting than this. Sure, not much happened in that film for two hours, but atleast there was a young Katherine Zeta Jones, and some wicked-cool cgi tricks which made the story one worth following until the end.

This movie presents a boring mystery of betrayal, sex, and lies...which blends with an angry spirit roaming the hotel. I felt more like I was watching a Halloween episode of "Dallas", and not a horror movie. The ghost in this movie is scary as a bent up penny. And the makeup job done on her to make her look scary is even worse. The kids? Well they just walk around making jokes, trying to scare each other, and then lusting after one another. It's like they know they're stupid teens in a stupid teen horror movie with a shoestring budget. So they're gonna wait around and do stupid teen stuff until the ghost shows up and decides to kill them.

It doesn't get any worse than stupid teens who are far too aware of their stupid teendom. To make matters even more worse, the ghost does this stupid whispering thing throughout the whole film which isn't even scary and is quite annoying. Then there's the flashbacks which are so poorly acted they look like a dinner theater play in Beverly Hills put on by some theater majors who never made it to the big time, so they remained in college for an extra 15 years. Blood and gore are totally absent here, and as far as how violent this film gets?

A ghost carries a severed head with no blood on it, and someone is hit in the head with a shovel. That's, about, it. If you're looking for a glimmer of cinematic hope here, all I got for ya is a funny exchange where one of the male characters tells the ghost..."I don't do dead chicks, scram"...and the end credits. Man, was I happy when those ends credits started rolling. Whew! "Ghosts Of Goldfield" is a film you should avoid at all costs unless you're VERY easily scared, under the age of 10, or both. It's a horror movie that forgets the horror and lays on the "horrible" very thick. As in horrible acting, horrible writing, horror ghosts, horrible characters, horrible everything.

Positives:Not much beyond the "I don't bang ghosts" line and those end credits.

Negatives:Lame ghost, annoying teens, boring script, no suspense, action, or entertainment value, no blood or gore, just an all around bad film.

Overall:No stars out of four.





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