[Knife Edge]
Plot:A successful Wall Street trader returns to England with her new husband and five-year-old son, but their new start together turns into a nightmare when they move into a country house which contains a terrible secret.

Cast:Hugh Bonneville, Nathalie Press, Joan Plowright, Matthieu Boujenah, Tamsin Egerton, Jamie Harris, Lorcan O'Toole, Miles Ronayne.

My Thoughts:Made me wanna stab myself with a knife edge.

Review:Apparently the British have become big on making supernatural horror films. Considering Britain's countryside has a lot of big mansionesque homes, the obvious train of thought is..."hey, we can use some of these places to shoot a really good horror movie!" Yeah, well, they got that first part right atleast. There's nothing good about "Knife Edge". In fact, when you look at our sorry ghost movies in america, you're almost thankful they aren't as bad as this shit was.

"Knife Edge" follows a female wall street trader who through the usage of her inherent psychic abilities, has made her bosses a lot of money. But alas, she decides to give it all up so she can move to England with her second husband, and her son. They move to a huge mansion in the countryside, and of course some ghosts show up to spoil the happy homecoming. Well, atleast this movie wants us to believe that.

The film operates on a level below that of films like "Dark Water" (remake), where you see a ghost here, there, and everywhere from time to time. In "Knife Edge", there isn't a ghost shown at all. The film just gives us 90 minutes of nothing, nada, zip, zilch. It teases a ghost that isn't really there, it teases shadows, spectres, and bumps in the night that don't really exist. And while some films, such as Bayona's "The Orphanage" can do this with grace and effectiveness, "Knife Edge" fails at all of these things.

And concludes as a 90 minute yawner. Add to that the characters are extremely annoying, especially the husband. The wife isn't so bad, mostly because she looks like a very young Lili Taylor. Albeit despite the British accent. And if you thought Bobby from "13 Ghosts'' was an annoying kid, the kid in "Knife Edge" has him beat by a mile. There truly isn't a thing to like about this picture, and providing a spooky mystery to the audience is one thing.

Allowing them to fill in the blanks themselves, or filling in the blanks for them little by little is one thing. But providing a mystery with no clear end, no clear point, and a total lack of scares, suspense, chills, or scares is just sloppy filmmaking, sloppy writing, and sloppy overall intent. But is there a method to this films madness? Is there an end to it's means? Absolutely, of course I totally hated it and I bet most other people will too.

I always wonder why some foreign horror films take so long to make it stateside. Usually, it's the lack of ease they have finding a distributor. But in this films case, I'm pretty sure it's the fact that the producers know they have a disaster on their hands. And distributors who've taken a look at the pic probably know that as well. "Knife Edge" is suburban horror at it's finest.

If you're scared very easily, and like horror movies set in big houses, then you'll probably like this movie. But for hardcore genre fans from the mainstream side of the aisle, this film is definitely not a cup of tea we'd be interested in. I have to say, this film was one of the most painful viewing experiences of my life. It was truly torture to sit through, and when it was all over, I felt robbed of 90 minutes of my life. And to the filmmakers I say, I'd like that back please....thanks.

Positives:The moment the end credits rolled.

Negatives:Poor script, annoying characters, a severe lack of entertainment value, as well as suspense, scares, and chills. Just an all around waste of time.

Overall:No stars out of four.





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