[Moscow Zero]
Plot:In Moscow, the priest Owen hires a team to guide him in the underworld to find his friend Sergei that is missing while researching the legend about the existence of demons and an entrance to hell beneath the city.

Cast:Vincent Gallo, Oksana Akinshina, Val Kilmer, Sage Stallone, Joaquim de Almeida, Rade Serbedzija, Joss Ackland, Alex O'Dogherty, Julio Perillán, Roman Shamko, Borja Romaniv, Alejandro Horeyda, Juan Carlos Guerrero, Ekaterina Vovenko, Marilo Muñoz.

My Thoughts:Oh no, Moscow is in danger. But you'd never know that watching this film.

Review:So what would you expect to happen when a film is made about a group hired by a priest to help guide him into the bowels of hell itself to find his missing friend who may have been spirited away by demons who reside beneath the streets of Moscow Russia? You'd expect blood, guts, gore, gunfire, action, suspense, and just out-of-this-world visual effects right? Well...apparently in the case of "Moscow Zero", someone seemed to have forgotten all of that stuff. The movies premise seems to have been a scheme by the producers to garner interest from people at the video store, and possibly a few distributors at the same time.

But in the end, I now realize why this movie didn't grace the multiplex, and why it ended up going straight to DVD. The movie just starts off, and goes on, and on, and on, and on. With no remarkable scenes, dialogue, or anything. It's truly a blank slate movie. Where absolutely nothing good happens or occurs. Nothing memorable, interesting, or intriguing. You sit, and you watch 79 minutes of nada, zip, zilch. For a movie that takes on such an amazing and potential-filled premise, it goes nowhere fast.

The film starts off on the subway, and makes it's way underground, as the group closes in on this supposed portal to hell that lies beneath the streets of Moscow. But you think to yourself, shouldn't there be lots of blood, and grotesque beasts in a film where people are closing in on a portal to hell, and looking to slay some demons? Obviously in this movie satan took the day off, because we get none of that here. We get implied demons, implied demon attacks, and evil catholic-priest-demonic-possession-movie whispers throughout the duration. Charming, exciting, and interesting huh?

NOT! Especially in a film where Vincent Gallo and Val Kilmer are involved. You'd think they'd atleast put these guys acting talents to work at some point, but instead these two guys are pinned down by the terribly boring script they're saddled with, and they really are just in the film for name recognition, it eventually becomes obvious as the film goes on that the train of thought was -- these two should score the film some rental cash from intrigued movie renters. "Moscow Zero" really offers up a plate full of nothing, I cannot honestly think of one thing in this movie that made it memorable in any way.

Not one line of dialogue, not one particular scene, nothing. Now I'm sure certain people will say..."well, you don't need a ton of blood and gore to make a good horror movie", and that "seeing less is scarier"...but I'm not the pretend type. And while I understand a ton of gore, blood, and guts aren't needed to make a good horror movie, I do think the film has to have some sort of reason for being. Or offer up something cool and badass for the viewer to get excited about. "Moscow Zero" doesn't do any of that, not even sure why this film was made.

And quite frankly it's a huge waste of a good plot idea that some other director and writer could've made the most out of. With the horror genre already languish because of a lack of original and good ideas for screenplays, the last thing we need is a good idea wasted on a bad script which amounts to 79 minutes of sleep time. The ending of the movie doesn't even carry any significant weight, which is sad. Because most crappy movies atleast pack a walop of an ending, but this movie doesn't even deliver the goods during the finale. So what can be said here when it's all said and done?

Stay away from Moscow zero unless you've always been intrigued about what the Russian underground/subway system looks like. If you're looking for a good scary movie that will entertain, chill, and scare...might wanna rent something else folks.

Positives:Umm......the end credits?

Negatives:Boring script, terribly low entertainment value, nothing worth seeing whatsoever.

Overall:No stars out of four.





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