[Skull Heads]
Plot:For generations, the inbred members of the Arkoff family have lived in peace in their remote castle in Italy. But when three art thieves unexpectedly invade their home in search of priceless treasures, the members of the clan must protect themselves. Enlisting the help of the castle's ancient protectors--the deadly Skull Heads--the Arkoffs prepare for the fight of their lives.

Cast:Robin Sydney, Kim Argetsinger, Sonny Carl Davis, Rane Jameson, Samantha Light.

My Thoughts:Terrible!

Review:"Skull Heads" is yet another killer puppet movie from the Full Moon/Charles Band camp. This one follows a weird family who reside in a castle in Italy, a castle which sits off to itself (ya know, like most castles in most horror movies). The daughter of the family, Naomi, wants more out of life though. She wants to leave behind her castle life, mostly to get away from her abusive father, and go off to college and meet people. Her mother however warns her against this.

But when a group of people show up to film a piece at the castle, Naomi sees them as her way out. And thus jumps at the chance to allow them to shoot their picture at the Arkoff family castle. But there are forces which reside within the castle, protectors of the Arkoff treasures. Protectors who are about to be awakened, with deadly results. Unfortunately, the results are neither entertaining, nor coherent. "Skull Heads" is not only an extremely low-budget flick, but it's also a movie that wanders around aimlessly.

It really isn't sure what to do with itself. Should it focus on the weird family, or focus on Naomi, or the Skull Head's who are tiny skull-faced dolls that shoot 99 cent-store-laserbeams from their eyes at people? The film decides to focus on Naomi instead, which is a good thing, considering the family members are just creepy in a stomach-turning sort of way and the less we see of them the better. And as for the Skull Heads, once they show up, you can't help but laugh at how unscary they are.

Thus Robin Sydney is left to carry a large majority of the film because, well, the dolls sure as hell can't. The movie tries to be slightly clever by introducing the film crew into the mix, and playing the "nefarious motives" game with them. But the movie telegraphs this so-called twist way too early after a conversation between Naomi and her mother, in which her mom warns her of the danger of outsiders. Which isn't cliche in the least. Crazy white people living in a large rural Italy castle, warning their kids about the dangers of outsiders? Naw, nothing cliche about that...wink-wink.

Only dif. is, here in America, we call them rednecks. While in places like Italy, or Europe in general, they're referred to as eccentrics. Just a code word for "Those people are cuckoo for cocoa puffs", and "Stay the hell away from that part of town." There really isn't much to be happy about when it comes to "Skull Heads". The films DVD cover boasts another killer puppet movie, ala "Puppet Master", or "Demonic Toys". But unlike those films, where the little guys were the focus of the movies violence and story, this film is really akin to a "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" sequel, with some neon-eyed dolls.

Oh, and by the way, there's another ..."twist"..."yawn", which gets thrown in involving Naomi and her family and their lineage. A twist which is so predictable and unsurprising, you just hang your head and pray the film ends soon because those pesky migraines are beginning to kick in again. As if the cheap-looking dolls with the 99-cent-store-laserbeam-eyes, and the lack of creative storytelling weren't bad enough, the movie ends on an abrupt note. One of those "wtf? That's how it ends?" kind of notes.

Not that I was complaining or anything, but good grief, some conflict resolution would've been nice. Maybe "Phantasm" can pull off ending their movies like this, but not "Skull Heads", or any recent Full Moon movie for that matter. "Skull Heads" is best left alone at the local video shop, it's another "Full Moon's a shell of it's former self", film. The pic doesn't "bring it" in any aspects of horror filmmaking, from the story, to the villains, to the dolls, to the blood, gore, and carnage, it doesn't bring it. It just squeaks a bit, and expects us to take notice. Well, good luck with that. Stay away from this one unless you love anything Full Moon related.

Positives:Nothing that I can remember.

Negatives:Cliche twists, pathetic looking dolls, aka, the Skull Heads, a poorly written story which doesn't bring anything unique to the table, and an ending which seemed tacked on because they ran out of money. Either that or the shooting permits ran out early

Overall:Half a star out of four.





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