[Stan Helsing]
Plot:Follows the misadventures of hapless video store clerk Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) and his friends one unfortunate Halloween night when they find themselves stranded in the mysterious residential development of Stormy Night Estates. There, Stan learns of his true destiny as a descendant of the legendary monster-hunter Van Helsing. With his motley band in tow - including his best friend Teddy ("Saturday Night Live" star Kenan Thompson) - he will battle true evil in the form of parodies of movie monster icons "Freddy," "Jason," "Leatherface," "Pinhead," "Michael Myers," and "Chucky." In addition to riotously sending up some of the cinema's greatest scream meisters!

Cast:Desi Lydic, Diora Baird, Leslie Nielsen, Steve Howey, Kenan Thompson, Holly Eglington.

My Thoughts:Well, the first ten minutes had potential.

Review:"Stan Helsing" is another in a long line of horror-spoof movies. Which shouldn't come as a surprise considering the film was written and directed by Bo Zenga, the man who brought us "Soul Plane", which in itself was a spoof of black culture. And Zenga was the same guy who brought us the iconic "Scary Movie", one of the funniest spoof movies of all time. Unfortunately, the same recipe that made "Scary Movie" funny, doesn't work here in "Stan Helsing". Maybe it's because the same old jokes get stale after they've been recycled like 100 times.

Or maybe it's because I'm 27 now as opposed to the wet-behind-the-ears 19 years of age I was when "Scary Movie" came out. Maybe I just don't find this spoof stuff funny anymore. But I doubt that's the case mostly. I mean after all, what you see in "Stan Helsing", humor-wise, is the same stuff that "Dance Flick", "Meet The Spartans", "Epic Movie", "Disaster Movie", and all the "Scary Movie", movies after part one offered up to audiences. None of this stuff is funny anymore, and that's the problem with this flick.

"Stan Helsing" follows a video store clerk named Stan Helsing. He is a descendant of Van Helsing, only he doesn't know that yet. He heads off after work to attend a Halloween party with his friends on Halloween night, but not before he delivers some videos for his boss. The delivery doesn't go smoothly though, as Stan runs into all sorts of psychos and miscreants as he and his friends try to make the delivery. The threats are the usual stereotypes like crazy rednecks, psychotic hitchikers, vampire babes, etc.

They also tie into spoofs of past horror films such as "The Hitcher" (2007), and "The Hills Have Eyes" (2006). To make matters worse, Stan is also being hunted by a faux-group of horror icons including Freddy, Jason, Chucky, and Pinhead. Of course though, "Stan Helsing" just couldn't do it's own thing without spoofing something. That's really the problem with this film in general. It does so much spoofing, and retreads of tired gags and jokes, some of which were never funny to begin with...that it rarely shows off it's own brilliance at all.

The film opens up with a cool ten minutes, and shows some signs of potential. Including one really funny scene involving a "cockroach" in the video store bathroom. But after that, it quickly descends downhill, as the characters get obnoxious and annoying, and the jokes, which were only modestly funny to begin with, become annoying and worthy of an eye-roll or two. I honestly think this film sadly enough will spawn a new series of spoof movies though. Low-budget cheap ones. This movie looked like it cost just a tad bit under what it cost to make "Scary Movie". But it was missing the humor and great timing "Scary Movie" had.

But with the DVD market exploding these days, if this film gets enough rentals and purchases at the local video store, it'll probably get a sequel, or spawn a new explosion of straight-to-dvd spoof movies. Which wouldn't come as much of a surprise because between 2007 and now, the spoof movie subgenre has been heavily exhausted at the multiplex. I believe in 2007 there were about five of them to emerge within a three month period. "Stan Helsing" ended up on DVD because the market, which at this point is a dead horse, has been beaten beyond recognition.

And it was probably because of the bad acting in this film as well. Although I don't fully blame the actors as much as I blame the horrible script they had to work with. I don't think this movie could've worked even if it had starred have the cast of "Oceans 11". "Stan Helsing" hits a new low though when the conclusion of the film rolls around, and Stan has to embrace his destiny of being a hero by facing down the deadly gang of faux-horror-icons. The way it all plays out isn't the least bit funny, or entertaining for that matter.

Despite the karaoke and water gun scene, it just doesn't garner or generate any serious laughs. Which is pretty much the story of "Stan Helsing" in a nutshell. Like they say, always a bridesmaid, never a bride? Well "Stan Helsing" is always "trying", but never "is" or manages "to be"..."genuinely" funny.

Positives:The opening ten minutes show some signs of life.

Negatives:What follows the opening ten minutes kills the film quickly. Stale, tired, lame gags, jokes, and the like. Terrible acting by almost everyone in the film, with faux-Freddy being atleast decent, but still also terrible. The ending was just, ridiculous.

Overall:One star out of four.





( Talk about it in the Forums!)



( Back to the main page)