[Storm Warning]
Plot:A young couple lost in a swamp seek refuge at an isolated farmhouse only to discover they've made the biggest mistake of their lives when the residents of said house return home.

Cast:Nadia Farès, John Brumpton, David Lyons, Mathew Wilkinson.

My Thoughts:Oh give me a break!

Review:"Storm Warning" is Aussie Director Jamie Blanks return to horror after a long absence which came after the 2000 released slasher movie "Valentine". Now he's back with "Storm Warning", a direct-to-dvd Aussie effort. This movie in two words..."very disappointing". Other than a nice, hip, edgy musical score...it's got nothing going for it. When one watches a movie like "Storm Warning"...one can't help but think where have I seen this before? And then it hits you..."Wolf Creek", another Aussie horror pic. "Storm Warning" is another entry into the "wrong place, wrong time, wrong people" library.

Also similar to films like "Wrong Turn", where lost travelers find a place where they think there'll be help or a phone to call for assistance...only to find out sickos and psychos own the joint, and for some reason in films like these...the place in question always turns out to be a rickety looking old wooden shack. You would think that the writers of these particular movies would atleast try to change the script a little bit, maybe throw in a curveball or two, but not in this films case. And ironically enough, the couple decides to enter the rickety, creepy, run down shack.

Even though before they find it, they see what they believe to be a man being murdered near the vicinity of the shack. Blanks film really just doesn't follow any sort of logic, and his characters are just made out to be extremely foolish, gullable, and downright dumb. The most embrassing thing about the characters are that they're an early thirty-something couple! We aren't talking about young high school kids in love, or loopy college kids, but two people old enough to know better, who make extremely foolish decisions and end up paying for it big time.

Watching this movie is an assault on the senses for that reason, and the reason that it's so cliche. Once the psychos return to their stomping grounds, it's only a matter of time before things go from bad to worse, and they break out the mental, verbal, and physical torture upon our unsuspecting low IQ couple. By that point, the film just breaks down into another torture-horror picture as the crazy aussie shack-dwellers begin torturing yuppie guy and his French girlfriend. Watching movies like this really don't give me much hope for where the horror genre is headed. I mean is this what our genre has broken down into now?

A genre where you can round up a cast of 5 people, then have three of them torture the other two and viola, masterpiece? It seems that every film which deals with people getting lost, is always followed by them getting tortured for 45 minutes...until someone manages to break free, and do the killers in. This film had no creativity going for it, and if you've seen every killer redneck movie made in the U.S......then "Storm Warning" won't be anything for you to bat an eyelash or two at. The film is also very mysoginistic, as the crazy trio constantly makes sexual advances and attempts to violate the lead female in the movie.

This is another thing that there is way too much of in horror films like these. Which is exactly where the originality part fails, coupled with the fact that one can only tolerate watching that sort of thing on screen for a certain period of time. I mean when the couple gets trapped in the shack by the redneck trio...what do you thinks gonna happen? They're gonna screw with their heads, and then try to rape the chick? Oh wait....that's exactly....what happens! See where I'm going with this?

If Blanks thinks that after "Valentine", this is what we horror fans have been waiting for in his return to the genre, then he must be smoking some of the marijuana that the rednecks in this movie had stashed away in the backroom of their house. Which by the way is the only original part of this putrid mess. It's not every day that you see a horror movie where torture-loving, depraved hicks have pot plants stashed away in their home.

Maybe if they'd smoke some of their own product, they'd be alot more chilled and wouldn't need to be killing people all the time. But then again, with characters like these, the weed might just make their attitudes worse.

Positives:NONE...except the good looking female lead and the musical score.

Negatives:Within the overall film, just about everything.

Overall:TOTAL CRAP!





( Talk about it in the Forums!)



( Back to the main page)