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[Suicide Girls Must Die]
Plot:When twelve nude models for the infamous SuicideGirls.com begin disappearing from a remote cabin, the calendar video they are shooting becomes the first reality horror movie.
Cast:Quinne Suicide.
My Thoughts:This movie MUST DIE!
Review:Not sure where this movie even came from, and I personally believe that we have reached the point where anyone can film or shoot a movie, and as long as some pinup models, one famous person, or semi-famous person is attached, it'll somehow find it's way into a DVD store near you, or amazon.com. The latest example? "Suicide Girls Must Die", which is a reality-based slasher film featuring the internet celebs "The Suicide Girls".
The film has a group of new girls journeying to Maine to shoot a calendar. Actually, the scenes where we're introduced to the girls, and the scenes where they're on their way to Maine, for example, a scene where a road cop pulls them over, and another scene where a woman calls them whores when one of them takes a piss on the side of the road...are all very funny scenes and moments.
And actually represented a short and sweet time where this film showed promise and some hope. But then, once they reach Maine, and everything gets set up for this mysterious killer to start slashing away at these babes, that's when things take a turn for the worse, and the film degenerates into exactly what it is, a reality-based horror film. Similar to "The Scorned", a film which was made during E!'s "Kill Reality" show about 4 or five years ago.
That film was pretty bad itself, but "Suicide Girls" must die was far worse. The girls themselves all have different names, and different personalities, but they're all the same in the sense that all they do mostly is curse, argue, try to outshine one another, and whine about pointless stuff. So watching them is extremely annoying. And since this film is 90 minutes long, these girls cannot be dispatched fast enough. Speaking of which, the killer is never seen in this movie.
It's just the usual POV camera stuff, whether it be in the woods, or in some dark place. All we get are those scenes where the killer is watching, and they don't come early and often either. They're far spaced apart, yet, the killer somehow finds a way to kill off practically all of these girls despite not being seen often. And we don't even see their deaths happen. It's the usual "cut-away/scream/yell" stuff. So very annoying considering this is supposed to be a slasher movie that isn't targeting the under 16 audience.
And who's idea was it to set this film in Maine anyways? I mean Maine? What, was the state of Rhode Island busy? Anyways, "Suicide Girls Must Die" does finally reach it's long-awaited (atleast by me), conclusion, where it finally makes all the usual revelations, twists, surprises, etc. All of which fall flat due to their sheer ridiculousness, stupidity, or downright lameness.
But then again, considering the type of movie this is, one shouldn't be surprised by how it ends. But that still doesn't mean I have to like it. "Suicide Girls Must Die" is not a good movie, but I'm pretty sure most of you already knew or suspected that. Therefore, this is really just a moot point, as any memories of this film will be 5 seconds after someone watches it.
Positives:The opening 10 minutes showed rays of hope.
Negatives:The 87 minutes that followed was a disaster. Cliches, lack of entertainment value, annoying characters, hardly any blood or gore, and a really effing stupid ending.
Overall:Half a star out of four.
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