[The Sickhouse]
Plot:Terror lurks in the old orphanage, beneath a disused London hospital - a Seventeeth Century malevolence, the Plague Doctor, has returned to complete his evil masterpiece.

Cast:Gina Philips, Alex Hassell, Andrew Knott, Jack Bailey, Kellie Shirley, John Lebar, Romla Walker, Tom Wontner, Gregg Harris, Gillian MacGregor, Stuart Brennan, Sam Burke, Abe Buckoke, Alfie Owen, Callie Ward.

My Thoughts:What is happening to UK horror??

Review:With "The Descent", and "Creep"...coming out of the UK the last 4 years, you would think they'd be sitting pretty atop the genre pile. Especially with the crap america is currently putting out. But instead, they aren't. Why? Exhibit A..."The Sickhouse", a film which can't seem to decide whether it wants to be "Death Tunnel", or "House On Haunted Hill 1999"...or both. The movie follows an abandoned children's hospital which housed some kids infected with the black plague. The hospital also holds some creepy, yet historically interesting glyphs, which a female archeologist played by Gina Phillips, has some depe interest in.

Unfortunately, she can't get the proper permits to excavate the site due to the air still being unclean due to the plague, so of course, to further the story...she treks there herself in the dakr of night, to do her own solo snooping. At the same time, some british kids rip off a car, and go for a joyride in it. They end up however running someone down in the back alley of the hospital, and after one of their friends is injured in the crash...they decide to take refuge inside the haunted hospital. At this point, the movie breaks down into the most cliched effort ever.

If you've seen even 4 horror films that start out with a determined person who's willing to break all the rules to investigate something that she shouldn't be pressing him or herself to investigate...then you already know the beginning, middle, and end result of "The Sickhouse". A group of people stuck in a place they shouldn't be in to begin with...voices, illusions, and disappearing horrors eventually drive them all crazy, enabling the evil spirit to pick them off one by one.."YAWN", typical! This film is a mess, which is a shame considering it's the first horror title out of New Line Cinema's new home video entertainment arm.

It's a beautifully shot film, with eerie, creepy, macobb, and macabre settings...but there's nothing else beyond the wonderfully creepy hospital which is where 98% of the film takes place. Gina Phillips tries to carry the movie best she can, but this script gives her nothing to do. She just walks around reading scribbles on the walls, and when she bumps into the young criminals out for a joyride, who have now taken refuge in the house...she immediately switches her priorities from exploring the place, to getting them out of it alive. To make matters worse, one of the women in the group is pregnant, which is another writing flaw this movie has.

Who brings along a pregnant woman to steal a car? Unless she's the brains of the operation...shouldn't she have just been left back at the house? I guess not...but this movie uses that to it's advantage with the typical freaky unborn baby behavior such as cries in the darkness, and a very unwarranted abortion scene which isn't for the weak of stomach at all. The films villain is a psycho killer called the plague doctor, who apparently mudered five of the children in the hospital, and has some sort of connection to black magic. But in this movie, you rarely see him beyond flashy imagery, and some shaky silhouettes.

I mean, if you thought the flash n' shake ghost fx in "House On Haunted Hill 1999" were annoying, this movie just totally abuses that effect to no end. It's hard to believe if a ghost is after these people, or some meth-addicted nut in a robe who is tweaking on acid. One of the films most exposed moments comes when near the end, Phillips character tells one guy that five people were killed in the hospital, and the final two were hung and burned respectively. To which he tells her, if she asks for a light, he'll just turn her down. Then not a second later, they both decide to light torches so they can see.

The poor writing of this movie just amazed me...and atop the fact that nothing interesting, scary, or remotely entertaining happens for the entire 90 minutes...the dialogue and actions of the characters are both just pathetic. Seems to me that the best part was written for Gina Phillips, and the director hoped she'd carry the movie to the promise land. I guess she could...if she were superwoman. Unfortunately, she isn't...and a film which dumps all the responsibility onto the female lead and surrounds her with nothing of value is doomed to fail...just like this film did.

Positives:Like I said, the atmosphere of the creepy abandoned hospital was amazing, and the film was nicely shot.

Negatives:Weak characters beyond Phillips character, bad dialogue, lame and cliche story, and a villain that is all flash and no substance.

Overall:BOOOOOOO!





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