[The Tomb]
Plot:A being known as "The Puppetmaster" holds victims captive in a tomb and tortures them.
Cast:
Victoria Ullmann,
Christian Behm,
Gerard Griesbaum,
Michael Barbour,
Shawn Smith,
Naidra Dawn Thomson,
Jillian Swanson,
Shannon Leade,
Janelle Dote,
Mathew Shively,
Fabian Garza,
Nicole Cook,
Jaquelyn Aurora,
Judy Mora.
My Thoughts:Watching this movie made me wanna bury myself.
Review:"The Tomb", a film written and directed by Ulli Lommel, and based off of an H.P. Lovecraft story is one of those movies that just makes you wonder how on earth could a person get funding to make such drivel? The movie plays out like "Saw", a very poor ripoff of that film, as a man and a woman wake to find themselves inside some satanist den. Atleast what looks like at first to be a satanist den. The film does have a very unique and intriguing opening scene, which signals a possible indie gem. However, it quickly breaks down into another mysterious-psycho-holding-innocent-people-hostage-for-their-yet-to-be-revealed-sins picture.
I wouldn't mind a ripoff or spin off of "Saw", as long as it's watchable, but this film was not! In fact, it was painful to watch, and I felt like burying myself in a tomb afterwards. Anything if it meant I wouldn't have to see this tripe again. The movies first of MANY issues is it has no clear story. Just a bunch of twisted intercut flashbacks, that play like the video game clips Uwe Boll inserted into "House Of The Dead". The two main characters just wander around this huge underground lair, and along the way discover other people who have been kidnapped by this mystery man, who has a penchant for repeating a very annoying phrase about nails. Most of these people are either dead, near death, or dying.
Which makes the movie even more unrealistic, that these people just croak in a very timely fashion after being found. But this basically is the whole movie, it plays out like a video game where instead of going around picking up power-ups, these people wander around seeing dead or near dead people. The film does finally try something new, at about the 90 minute mark when one of the films two main characters decides to "wack" a chinese girl who they discovered, for no apparent reason, and then both start revealing dirty little secrets about each other. Secrets which connect to the who, and why of the film.
But by this time, I had just stopped caring and felt like I should've been at the dentist getting my teeth pulled, as I imagine it would've been alot less painful than watching "The Tomb". As if everything that came before wasn't bad enough, the films Coup de Gras is a cross between the winners circle of "Wheel Of Fortune", and "American Pie". Probably one of the worst endings if not THE worst ending to a film I've ever seen. Oh and did I forget to mention that there's a mysterious woman or figure sporting a black-cloak, a mask, and riding a horse..who appears from time-to-time in the movie?
Yep, when all else fails such as your actors, your story, your script, and everything else.....it always helps to throw in the mystery horse-riding person with absolutely no name, or backstory....and who many people would believe was just an extra from another film, that accidentally wandered onto the set of this movie, and happened to appear in a few scenes by accident. "The Tomb" was a major league disaster. Luckily films this bad only come along once in awhile.
Positives:A good 5 minute opening.
Negatives:Bad acting, terrible story, awful plot, ridiculous ending, and useless characters.
Overall:Avoid at any and all costs!
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