Chewbacca busted

Of all the celebrities to have been arrested in the past few months, who would've ever thought that everyone's favorite Wookiee would be taken away in handcuffs anytime soon. But it indeed has happened. Chewbacca better known to friends as Chewie....was taken into custody over the weekend, and charged with assault after he head-butted a tour guide who warned him away from frightening two Japanese tourists. Obviously the tourists (who I assume were from Japan) weren't familiar with the popular "Star Wars" films, and the tour guide?? Well....he was probably just pissed that Chewbacca was scaring away potential customers. 8 foot tall wookiee's speaking jibberish tend to do that. Reports say that 9 officers attempted to take Chewie down before a taser and mace were called in which finally subdued the wookiee.

Okay, maybe I made that last part up, but wouldn't the story have been even funnier if that actually had happened?? Anyhow, I wonder what a headbutt from Chewbacca must feel like. It's probably tantamount to being knocked out by Mike Tyson. Especially if you're a height challenged person. Also....what exactly is Chewbacca doing walking the streets of Hollywood begging for money from tourists?? This guys been in every "Star Wars" movie ever made! He should have a large fortune stashed away by now. Did he succumb to the temptations that many other Hollywood stars have succumbed to? That of drugs, prostitutes, and booze??

Or have the royalty checks gotten significantly smaller over the last few years?? Or did he get screwed out of receiving any royalty checks period?? Hollywood suits are shrewd and sly people, and Chewbacca isn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box. Perhaps he was tricked into agreeing to some sort of under the table deal, or one of those contracts where the fine print isn't visible to the eyes of a wookiee.

Either way you've gotta feel sorry for the guy. A huge star one minute, and begging for money from tourists the next. That's showbiz I guess. So with all of this having been said, there is an even darker underbelly to this whole ordeal. The report states that other famous film characters were witnesses to the incident. Among those characters were Superman. I'm sure the cops had no idea what had happened when they arrived, and maybe Chewbacca could've walked away from the whole thing had he come up with a good answer to the "Where were you on the night of February 3rd 2007?" question. But leave it "goodie 2 shoes" Superman to snitch on someone.

I mean think about it, mild mannered Clark Kent, hiding a secret identity as the man of steel. A guy who flies around in blue and red spandex and wears a cape. And is always smiling. The guy basically reeks of a snitch. I'm sure when everyone else was tight-lipped about the incident, Supes rolled in and said "oh oh -- him officer him...that's the guy!". Let this be a lesson to all of you, if you're ever gonna do anything like swipe a stick of gum from the store, cheat on your significant other, launder some cash, or commit any other acts of fraud..don't ever do it around Superman. That fucker can't be trusted with any secrets. I bet when R2 D2, or Darth Vader get busted for a misdemeanor, Supes will be waiting with baited breath to give his account....rat bastard. ( Article )





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